blackberry_passport

Have you experienced the magic of the Blackberry Passport Mobile Phone?!

Blackberry Passport updates from March 2021: The Passport1 stayed rock solid – but alas, there were no more OS updates from Blackberry. The company has moved onto newer pastures. But it will be fun reliving the magic the device created in our lives many, many years ago. Don’t forget; this is a Blackberry fanboy speaking!

Blast from the past – I buy the Blackberry Passport

I moved to the Blackberry Passport phone from the iPhone 5s. It’s gorgeous and unique. It’s the only square phone on the market that I know of! The reviews swear by its battery and It has four speakers for that elusive conference call. It’s a cool gadget. 

I took it with me to an important meeting, all suited and ready to be the envy of the crowd. The meeting began on time. All of us were freshly brushed and armed to the gill with PPTs. We put our phones on the silent mode by clicking the little button sticking on the side. We were now ready) for some deep discussions. Five minutes into the meeting, a big “DONG” sounded.

The room went whisper-quiet, and all heads turned to me. Yes, I was the offender! I realized to my horror that the button on the side was for something. But it wasn’t to turn the phone into a silent tomb! Flushed and sweating, I walked out, attempting to turn the thing off, and ended up shutting it down. For the record, the DONG was from an email marketer. The guy wanted to sell me a farmhouse (about 100 km from anywhere) complete with cows, hens, and so on. I passed on the offer, but if you are in the market for a farmhouse – do let me know.

Don’t fret – the Blackberry Passport “Versatile” mode is here!

Cursing freely, I sat down to analyze how the Blackberry Passport could be asked to feign laryngitis on demand. I was delighted to see that it was equipped to do this and much more. Instead of features (silent, normal, and so on), the Blackberry team had added “day in life” modes( “bedside,” “meeting,” and “do not disturb.”) It’s these that we will discuss today. I am sure you are going to storm your neighborhood store for the Blackberry Passport. Perhaps I should get myself some of their stocks! Updated Note: it took a few years for your Androids and Apple devices to catch up on these features. And they still don’t have 4 speakers or the delightful QWERTY dashboard. And yes, I sucked at these predictions!

“Bedside” mode:

This one makes the blackberry don its night pajamas and turn itself into an alarm clock. It dims the clock (a big analog one – not the smallish digital ones you see on the competitors), turns off all notifications, and waits like a rooster to herald in the new morning. Sweet undisturbed sleep is what you are guaranteed – it’s lovely! The only thing it doesn’t do today takes you in the arms and rock you to sleep, singing a lullaby on the side. But given the massive number of Blackberry Passport updates, I am sure these feature somewhere in the fall roadmap! Updated Note: Alas, this dream feature of rocking us to sleep never materialized!

“Meeting” mode:

When you choose to accept a meeting (or a conference call meet), the one thing you don’t want is to appear to multi-task or look insensitive. But we do multi-task on the sly! I am an old-timer, no point in giving me that “holier than though” look!). On the lines of “I know what you did last summer,” let me recount what you do in a typical meeting:

whatelseareemployees

No matter which of the aforesaid stuff you are doing, the phone will go all silent. But it will bring you the latest cricket and soccer playoff scores, recipes, what’s app and Facebook updates, etc. – silently. Every time you accept a meeting, it goes silent. We don’t need to repeat the “search and mute” dance for every meeting. It’s all taken care of by the geniuses at blackberry!. Truly a godsend, huh?

“Do not disturb” mode:

Imagine your name is Mr.Dhoni. You have promised the nation that the Cricket World Cup is ours for every. You #wontgiveitback! But the Australians have other plans and beat us. A very angry Mr.Arnab (then #TimesNow and now from #TheRepublic!) is calling you on behalf of the nation (cue to him bellowing “the nation wants to know..” ). It seems a very sticky time to hang around.

What can you do?

You can take off to the Alps (unless there’s a Bollywood shooting going on there, in which case your pictures will still reach the remotest Indian villages!). Or you can turn on the “do not disturb” mode on your blackberry. The phone will turn into something like the deaf adder from the scriptures and deny access to everyone no matter where – next door, in the Himalayas, or Jupiter.  Unreliable rumors are that should folks still try to reach you, the phone will affect collateral damage. I guess Mr.Schwarzenegger’s is a client too!

So there you go. Instead of just features (silent, not silent, vibrate, and so on), Blackberry Passport has just upped the game by providing real-life scenarios. Way to go, Blackberry. I am confident that over time it will add more scenarios – just a few that come to mind:

  1. Boss mode on Friday evening: Your boss can’t reach you on the cusp of leaving for the weekend and shove some tasks to spoil your weekend.
  2. Appraiser mode: Will automatically send messages notifying you are on vacation and effectively render you unavailable during the critical phase of your team’s performance cycle.
  3. Subway/ Starbucks mode: Answer the 100s of questions both of these wonderful stores ask for every product you order (e.g., cold/hot/skim/cream – and this is just for milk!)

Footnotes:

1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BlackBerry_Passport

I rest my case. When are you getting your Berry?

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6 thoughts on “Have you experienced the magic of the Blackberry Passport Mobile Phone?!

  1. Ha ha ha I like the suggested modes but a little scary about other people having BB with that mode.

  2. ROFL Subra … great sense of humor; loved every line of it. Felt it was a perfect way to start Monday morning – the blues are gone and it looks green all over.

  3. Good try..nice sales pitch.. Let’s check out the conversion ratio.. How many berries were sold.. :-)..Thus I rest my case…

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