Think about a meeting. Pick anyone – a friend, a colleague, a casual acquaintance (for instance the postman!) or for that matter even an enemy you prefer to remember!
Picture your meeting with him/her. The visuals, the sounds, the feel – everything. What do you remember from the meeting?
Do you remember his hair was starting to thin or grey? Did you think she spoke too fast, or seemed too nervous? Was the meeting fun? Did you get a chance to advice him or her on any aspect at all?
Come back to this moment. I have often noticed that quite a few of my impressions may actually reveal something about me as much as about the other person (so for instance if I was worried about my hair greying (it so happens I am not, as I have given up long ago!), I would recollect the person’s hair detail). If you want that promotion really bad, did you picture him as being very hungry and agitated for it too?
Is this universal? Does it have to be this way, I guess not….
Try awareness for a while. Reflect back to the scene again – Did you see things as they are or are these a projection of your own world (read fears, hopes and such) on the person and environment?And if this so, would you benefit from following the advice ( or be convinced!) you shared with him? If the answer is a honest no, maybe it’s time to try some mindfulness. ( and no you don’t need Buddhist robes for this!).
In your next meeting, pretend you are also a witness( apart from being the actor too). Observe the scene using all senses and if possible the thoughts running in your mind as well. Chances are you will come away with a lot of understanding about yourself. Now that’ll be nice to have? – taking away facts and not projections??….
After twenty years of playing IT leadership roles, I am taking some time off to read, reflect, and share thoughts on Leadership and Technology. I am specifically interested in how we can use these to further our success. You can find my work at https://nsubra.com and 2-minute daily posts at https://angulam.in