Hoping hope will deliver me from pain…

On Friday, life dealt me a stinging blow. It took my mom away from me with no warning and no apologies. She was there rosy cheeked and happy one moment – and a part of the celestial kingdom just a few moments later. It is probably not the hardest life has affected anyone, – there are instances of tragedy that leave the mind boggling – but it was certainly the hardest it had dealt me and I haven’t still recovered – not fully for sure.
Tragedies such as this make you question life – its principles, its mechanics, and objectives. Is there a purpose to life, has there ever been? Where would all the prayers, all the chivalry, all the goodwill that was earned by people like my mom expend itself? It certainly hadn’t averted a disaster this time – was it being held in store for the next life? Some of it of course must have been translated into a painless death, on a very auspicious Hindu day – but was that enough – couldn’t more life have been a better offering?
This morning, I did a bit of contemplation on this and was stunned by a revelation – was I looking to hold on to her so I could continue availing the immense help and the priceless guiding and advice she offered to me? Would it that the celestial heavens offer unending joy as opposed to a 50-50 life out here, and make her a solace to the world as a “Mother” as opposed to just a “Mother to me”? If the celestial world did indeed make her life more joyous, would I feel so bad? Are there newer paths she is encouraging me to learn (as I must for sure now)?
I don’t know.
But it is only by bringing in the law of karma, the tons of goodwill and wishes she has accrued over the years, the pleasant face she continued to sport even when no more here, belief in the divine and celestial heavens – and such related expansive dharmas/ knowledge am I even able to reconcile myself to the thought of the separation having some benevolence.
And this is me, a man who has experienced well over 3 decades of life on this earth – all through which I have been the benefactor of her solace, trust and smiles. How would such an event affect a parent who loses his infant son, a child who loses her mother, a sister who loses her adolescent brother? Life can truly be shattering, and it is necessary to delve into scriptures and seek the support of the wise men/ women for finding solace. It is also important that we care (and show them we care) for our near and dear while we can. With life throwing such uncertainties at us – a harsh word, an impulsive gesture can cause profound guilt – we would be better off without.
Poets can be moved by life’s gentle events – a rose swaying in the wind, a little girl singing in the mountains, a sunset that has many hues. For the rest of us – it is life’s seismic events that bring out the philosopher in us. The awakening I experience is sudden – and it is upto us to make it an awakening of trust or a death of beliefs. Scriptures, wise counsel and friends help much through this phase and should help evolve solutions that should be palatable for our lives as well as support good prophecies for the departed souls. When we can help them no more on the physical plane, let us say a thoughtful prayer for them, thank them for the zillion acts of kindness showered on us and lend strengths to beliefs of their success in the next world. Reincarnation allows for loved souls to find their way back to us in a new body, so we may benefit from their love once again – it is these thoughts that we should hold dear and strengthen through our earnest prayers so they get manifested and find their way to fulfillment in our earthly plain. Peace. Peace. Peace.


  1. Firstly I am very sorry about this Subra and yes this is a very toughest situation to face ….and you know? God has (By mistake?) given us a wonderful gift..…..wonder what? forgetting the past as the time moves on….only time can heal this pain.

    Ofcourse you know better than I do….

  2. Dear Subra,

    I wish I can ease your pain of the tremendous loss. Time and deep thoughts about you Mother will help you to overcome this difficult time. You will come out stronger and wiser. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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